It's hard to start this post for some reason this time. I know it will be full of extreme highs and extreme lows, but it's hard right now for me to put into words these last few weeks, and I love all the words. Words are my jam. It's just not happening for me this time, so I'm just going to start this post by saying this. 3 months. In 3 months we should be traveling to go get our sweet Rylee Mei and I am overwhelmed by that thought. This God sized adventure started last September, and I'm now seeing a light at the end of this part of the tunnel, I'm just overwhelmed. It's an amazing feeling. We are coming, thankfully and humbly, we are coming.
There are so many things running through my head as I write this. One thing really dwelling on my heart is the passing of my husband's precious grandfather. I say "my husband's" but I am incredibly thankful that he thought of me as his own. I am so grateful for the relationship we shared and his love for me and the love and respect I have for him. He passed June 4th of this year. Just a few short weeks ago. The wound is still fresh for myself and I know for the rest of our family.
I am so incredibly thankful Tucker got to spend some quality time with Granddad just a few weeks before he passed. I can't imagine what those two were talking about but I have no doubt Granddad was imparting wisdom, as he always did, and Tucker, I'm hoping, was soaking in that sweet memory.
And in just 3 short weeks our family experience two other deaths in our small family too. Two of my husband's great aunts passed as well. This month, as I said, has been full of extreme highs and extreme lows. As I've heard many times and was reminded again today, I don't know how people get through this world without the comfort, peace and strength from our Savior. And more importantly the hope only He can give in times like these. The hope that we will one day see our sweet family members again.
In the midst of our sadness, we were given a glimpse of joy and hope. China said YES! That's a big deal for us. We have been waiting not so patiently for the "OK" from China since May 2nd. A little over a month later we got it. That just means the Chinese government said "Yes, the Harmon's are approved to adopt little Rylee Mei." So thank you China! We needed that sweet victory in these dark days.
And another precious gift was an update on our girl and this sweet photo!
I think she's looking for Mom, Dad & big brother!
With this new information, it looks like we will be able to travel this September! We are so excited! It's not much longer. We can't wait to hold our baby girl and shower her with love.
Soon, baby girl!
Everyone keeps asking how we're doing and mentioning how excited we must be. Of course we are! We have a baby girl on the way. But the "what if's" and "unknowns" always creep in with that excitement. I want to get excited, but there's a part of me that is very guarded and protected in this process. A small part of me that can't fully release until I have her in my arms, in my home. Then I can finally breathe a sigh of relief.
So while we wait, the excitement of getting a little girl's room together is looming. Yes, I may have already purchased bedding and possibly a few of the biggest bows you'll ever see. (Have you met me!? Of course she will have bows! I love accessories!) But in that excitement and joy, I am not naive enough to think once she gets here it will be pure bliss and a fairy tale. There could be some attachment issues, there WILL be a language barrier, and there will be fears from all sides that need to be overcome. Little Rylee has no idea her life with us will be great. She has no idea she is loved by so many already. She has no clue that her big, strong Daddy is already wrapped around her little finger and that her Mama is already planning fun girl trips to get pedicures and milkshakes!
My sweet, beautiful Rylee has never even seen a white person, not to mention hearing the English language spoken. Can you imagine a 3 year old seeing someone totally different and new and not understanding them, and then being taken away from everything they've ever known with those strange people!? How frightening! She will fly on a plane with Jason and me, the "strangers", to another city in China and then fly 24+ hours to America again with these "strangers." She will have no idea that we are her Mom & Dad and we love her so much. She has no idea we are here for her good.
The article below was sent to me this week, written by an adoptive mom. This explains all too well the struggles of adoption and of all the changes that we are about to experience. I don't send this for any other reason than to ask that you guys pray for this transition and understand that once she arrives yes, we will be just over the moon in love, but we will need prayers and patience from family and friends. We will be working on trusting one another during that time. We will be teaching her that we are Mom and Dad and big brother. We will be trying to communicate through any means possible. We will be showing her we are safe. We will be praying. We will be choosing love.
The waiting is over. You are now counting weeks, or maybe even days, instead of months. The moment you have dreamed about, hoped for, prayed for, cried for, begged God for, is about to arrive. You will see your child, face to face, for the first time. You go from pure excitement to immense panic throughout your day. Your to-do list seems to keep growing even though you are in constant motion preparing for travel. You cannot wait to see your child and yet you wonder if you are actually ready and questioning if they are ready to meet you.
Mama, you are about to embark on your own metamorphosis. The road ahead will not be easy. You already know that in your head. But you are about to actually experience the knowing in your heart and soul. Your journey may not play out exactly as mine, but here are a few things from my mama’s heart to yours.
Relationships are built over time and thankfully love is not a feeling it is a choice. Keep choosing love, mama. When you see your child for the first time your heart may leap with joy and immediate attachment. If that doesn’t happen, don’t panic. Relationships are built over time and thankfully love is not a feeling it is a choice. Keep choosing love, mama. Even when your emotions take you the other direction, choose love. Tell that child all day long that she is precious and loved.
Visually you may see a six year old boy, but your heart needs to see a newborn baby. You must go back. There is no other way forward.
If you are still waiting to travel, add a book about how to care for a newborn. Repurpose it to try to recreate as much as possible from that season of life. The brain is an incredible organ and neural pathways can be recreated by constant repetition. Your child needs you to allow them to be a baby again.
He may not want you to touch him at all. Do not give up, keep trying. Connect through food by attempting to feed him. Connect through play, even if that just means parallel play for now. Make a goal all day long to make eye contact. And if he won’t look you in the eyes, try putting some stickers on your face. If he wants to go into a shell and cry, sit beside him.
She may not let you put her down. And I mean ever. The panic goes beyond separation anxiety into an all consuming fear. I promise it will not last forever but it may last for a long season—ours lasted a year. My biggest tip is to get a really great child carrier so you can still be mobile. Let your child choose when they are ready to be out of your arms, out of your sight, out of your presence. Don’t rush it.
Educate your family and friends before you travel about what to expect after you return home. Invite anyone to the airport who would like to see you and your new child. It is so chaotic and you will all be completely exhausted but this allows people to see you so you can then go cocoon. Your new child will likely be scared and completely overwhelmed. In the madness, don’t lose track of where they are. Hold them the entire time or if they are older, hold their hand and don’t let go. Let your loved ones know that this is THE time to see you and you are not sure when the next time will be. You will also want to ask them to not bring any gifts to the airport and to not touch your child without asking you for permission first. It is not perfect but we have found it is the best way to allow everyone to see you. While it can be crazy for your new child, it is definitely a welcome sight for your own heart and can give you the encouragement you need for the next leg of the journey. With our older child adoption, it took a long time before we could have visitors in our home. We started the process slowly by having people over for short periods of time and staying outdoors during their entire visit.
Assemble a tribe while you are waiting. Assemble a tribe while you are waiting. You WILL need people to love you through this next year. Yes, I said “year.” However you communicate with people—text, email, social media—make a group for those whom you can send an SOS to at a moment’s notice. People will want to help so let them. Here are a few ideas:
Realize that you HAVE to take breaks or you will break yourself. Your entire life will change. You will not be able to do the things you used to do. Maybe for a season, maybe for longer, but you still need to find ways to put on your oxygen mask. If you run out of air, you will be totally useless to your child.
You are precious and you are loved, Mama. Be kind to yourself. Some days are going to be horrible. But remember, this is a marathon not a sprint. It is okay to have bad days. It is okay to make mistakes and not get it right every time. It is also okay to ask for help. In fact, it is absolutely necessary. If you are struggling it doesn’t mean that your adoption was a mistake or that you are not the right mother for your child. Connect with mamas who have traveled your road before. Find therapists in your area who are specially trained to help children from trauma…and find one for yourself, too.
You are precious and you are loved, Mama. Be kind to yourself.
All my love,
A mama who has gone before you and is cheering you on
About the Author: Sonya Judkins is an adoptive mother and frequently posts about faith, motherhood and adoption on her blog “Trading Tea for Elephants.” You can view this original post here.
See this beautiful little girl, well that's our daughter. Meet Rylee Mei Harmon. She is 3 years old and we are completely over the moon for her! It's absolutely amazing how every time I look at her picture, I automatically get all the feels I get for Tucker when I look at his pictures. Adoption Rocks!!
She already has a big smile like her Momma! :-)
I'm in awe of this entire process and this little girl who we didn't know existed one week ago, one month ago or one year ago. One year ago we were just overcoming the loss of a baby through a miscarriage and I was trying to heal. I realized as I was typing this it was almost exactly one year ago this last week that I was having a D & C procedure for the child I would never meet. Now, I have a sweet baby girl waiting on me to come for her. God is always faithful, even when we don't see what's happening or understand why, He knows exactly why. This beautiful little girl that is going to call me momma and who I am going to love and adorn with the biggest bows on the planet....she was exactly our why. It wasn't meant for us to have a baby biologically at that time. But I know if it hadn't been for the miscarriage and the pain of that time, I wouldn't have succumbed to His why. Sometimes that pain is exactly what we need.
It was that "why" that led us to adopt. I am grateful that God choose to use this adoption experience to grow our faith and stretch us completely out of our comfort zone so we can see His big plan.
"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." He is able to accomplish SO much more if we just step out on that leap of faith.
So now, the big question on everyone's mind...."When do we go get her!!???" The short answer is we aren't sure. The longer answer is there is much more paperwork to be done and arrangements to be made, but from what we can gather at the very most, it would be 6 months. That's a good guess anyway. In the meantime we work hard toward our financial goal and of course the fun stuff like prepare her room! But now when we do those things, we know what precious baby we are working towards. We see her beautiful face and see that precious big smile!
We are so so excited to share with you all in this journey and we can't thank you enough for praying for Jason, myself, Tucker & Rylee. Please keep us all in your prayers as this journey isn't over.
It's amazing how much love Jason and I both felt when we finally agreed this was our child. Adoption is such a precious gift, for the child yes, but for the parents even more so. You realize the love our Heavenly Father has for us in a very real way. To take the orphan and rename them, and call them His own. Such an incredible gift. If you're thinking this may be something God is calling you to, I would love to talk to you about it. I definitely don't have all the answers, but I love talking adoption and would be happy to help!
We are so blessed!
I want anyone who reads this to know it's nothing we have done, it's all because of the Lord! We give Him all the praise for this amazing family He has blessed us with! We are so unworthy!
Rylee - soon baby girl! Momma & Daddy and big brother Tucker are so excited to meet you!
LIFE IS HARD!!! Does everyone know this? I'm sure everyone does, but when those hard times actually come it's literally like a "BREAKING NEWS" kind of moment. The world stops spinning, life as we know it has paused and all of your attention is on the "news" of that moment. Maybe it's just me, but when something difficult is in my path, it's hard for me to focus our push past it until the problem is solved, a resolution has transpired or until I realize I was wrong, repent and that's when I can finally move on.
One of those "Breaking News" moments has come upon our family. For those following about our adoption, thankfully it doesn't directly involve that. That process is completely on schedule as far as we know. It's now a waiting game on our match. This particular news worthy moment is something that involves our immediate family. It's hard not to get into too much detail now, and I'm sure at some point I will, but for now just know our little family is needing prayers.
I actually started this post a few weeks ago, just hoping maybe it would work itself out by now. No, our family is still in "wisdom seeking mode" but we have succumb to the fact that no matter what God is in control. I know a lot of my posts seem to feature that sort of theme of trusting, letting go and giving control to Him. Obviously it's a personal struggle I have. When I write these posts it's like my own personal therapy session. Every word I type is sometimes a slap in my face, like God is using my fingers to tell me something He's been trying to tell me all along. "AIMEE - when are you going to let Me have control?!" I'm really trying...I think. I keep coming back to it though. Picking that same thing back up. How do you give Him full control over something? How do you not let those "breaking news" moments consume you and make your world stop spinning?
Faith. Prayer. Living in His Word.
Help me to live out those things, Lord. I don't want to walk this road without your guidance.
This morning it hit me like a ton of bricks, things are changing in our house. My little cozy, comfortable routine that I'm so used to is quickly changing and there is nothing I can do about it.
Thankfully, these changes are not "bad" changes at all. They're actually really wonderful changes. Tucker (my precious 5 year old son) is starting kindergarten in August, I think that's what poked this bear inside of me. This morning I went to the school to register him. No, I didn't cry, I was fine, but I realized that things were going to be different in our house very quickly. Not to mention we (hopefully soon) will have our sweet China Baby! It's all laying heavy on me today that my world is about to be wrecked, in a wonderful way, of course, but still wrecked!
I've quickly realized through this adoption process that I like to be in control of my situations. I like to have a plan and follow it. Tucker starting school in August is completely wrecking our routine and it's freaking me out a bit! Of course, not Tucker's fault, we do realize education is important, but I have no control over any of it! I'm the type of person that needs to have a plan, needs to know the plan in advance and quite honestly preferred to have made the plan itself. I like to know where I'm going and what will happen when I get there. Which is quite funny when you think about it because the adoption process is complete opposite of that. Oh yes, we have "timelines" and "guides" but there is literally no real timeline, we have NO CLUE when we will be matched and when we will travel. We just have educated guesses, and in some cases, just a guess.
So why am I ok with that lack of plan and not ok with all the changes that are happening right now in my life? Maybe because I've been in control far too long and God is trying to break me of that habit? Maybe He's telling me to let go of my plan and let Him plan for me. Maybe, He's trying to set me free?
He knows the plans He has set before me. He knows what will happen when Tucker starts kindergarten and all that will involve. He knows our China Baby and where she is and who she's with and that He is preparing her to become a Harmon. He knows ALL. He knows the past, present and future. Why am I trying to control what I see in this tiny moment of time?
It all comes down to these 5 letters. TRUST. Do I trust him enough to push past my need for control and let Him plan my future. It seems sometimes the "big" situations in my life are easy to give to Him, but the little things that may not be much to anyone else, but keeps me up at night (what will happen to our routine when Tucker starts school? Who will pick him up? How will we find time to help with homework?) Those things seem easy for me to hang onto. God wants it all, because He cares about it ALL. He cares that I want to be there for Tucker to help with homework. He cares that I want to pick him up from school and ask about his day. He cares about all of those things. So if the God of the universe cares about those things.....can't I trust Him enough to know He already has a plan in place?
Thank you, Father, for caring for me in the big things and the little things. Help me to remember that and cast all my cares upon you. Help me to trust you in every way.
I'm writing this today with tears of joy, gratitude just an overwhelming sense of unworthiness of all the blessings He has bestowed on us this weekend. We had an amazing fundraiser in our hometown of Decatur, TN and it seemed like all of Decatur showed up to support us. It was incredible.
This is just a few of the pictures from the weekend. It was so amazing to see folks helping with the spaghetti dinner and silent auction from sun up to sun down, practically. There were some folks that helped that didn't even know Jason or I personally, but knew other family members and showed up early to help set up, serve and clean up. We can never repay them for what they have done, but they will be cherished in our hearts forever.
Just as the Ephesians 3:20 says, "Now all glory to God who is able through His mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we may ask or think". We saw His work this weekend, people being the hands and feet of Christ. It was far above than we could have ever thought or imagined! God is always more than enough.
Let me just take a moment now and share that if you are even considering this path, I urge you to explore it thoroughly. We had no clue in the beginning how we would fund this, but we knew God was calling us to this so we took that leap of faith. That's it! A leap of faith and God is providing and we are trusting in Him to do so. He's faithful and He's not going to leave us on this journey that He has called us on.
Please, ask me any questions about adoption, I am always more than happy to answer those questions. The adoption agency's are always willing and ready to answer your questions. If you feel God calling you to this, don't push it away. You will not believe the blessings you will receive when you obey. Jason and I feel so unworthy of all of this, but we are so thankful and give God all the glory.
It's been on my heart for sometime to tell my story. My faith story. This has nothing to do with our adoption, per say, but it has everything to do with God...who eventually led us to adopt.
I'm writing my story on the cuffs of having been to the Brooks House recently. It is a shelter for women who have no where else to go, who have been abused and or addicted something and have nothing and nowhere to turn. We chose that place as our "mission project" in my small discipleship group. In my mind I thought we would go there and share with them our stories and "bless" them and tell them about Christ. Instead, they shared their stories. Their stories of abuse, neglect, brokenness, addiction and loneliness. I was the one who was blessed. They were the ones who showed me Christ in a very real way. It was an incredible evening. After hearing their stories it made me realize even more how much we need to share our stories. No, I don't have a story like my new friend Felicia who was sold at 13 years old for prostitution, and then sold again for drugs at 17. I don't have that story, but I do have my story.
I can't share my story without sharing a little of my parents story. I was born in Albuquerque, NM. My parents met there while my Dad was driving through on his way from Tennessee to California, stopping along the way to make some money to get him to his next stop. It just so happened he stopped at my Grandpa's gas station looking for work. He met my mom there and 4 months later they married. Fast forward about 10 years and my brother was 5 and I was 10 months old. My Dad knew he needed to get back to TN, because the drugs and alcoholic lifestyle he was living wasn't good for our family. So we moved to TN to live near my other grandparents. My Mom started attending church with my Mamaw & Papaw and accepted Christ as her Savior. My Dad, having been an alcoholic, most of his young adult-adult life finally came to know Christ when I was 6 years old. At that moment our entire family tree changed. Had it not been for that event, I'm not sure where my brother & I would be today.
It was when I was 6 years old I knew 100% that God was real and that He had changed my Dad. There was a visible difference in him. He threw away all the alcohol and he became the Dad my brother and I needed. At 6, I knew God had changed my Dad and I had no doubts about how real Jesus is or who He was.
Then life changed dramatically because Dad wanted to start a ministry, a singing ministry. So we quickly became The Standridge Family Gospel Singers. My brother played the bass, my mom sang, dad sang and played guitar & I sang and played a mean tambourine! (ha!) So that was my childhood. Singing with my family from the time I was 6 years old until around 21 years old. We would sing nearly every weekend my entire childhood. To say I was at the church every time the doors were open was an understatement.
When I was 8 years old, I remember going to the front and thinking I had accepted Christ. But as I got older, I realized I didn't know him. I was a rebellious, typical teenager. I was a "good girl" but I didn't have it all together like I looked like I did. Finally at 17 years old I remember walking down to the front of the church having grabbed my Dad by the hand and telling him, I needed to be saved. I didn't have Jesus in my heart. My Dad lead me to Christ at that moment. We prayed a prayer together and I accepted Jesus as my Savior. Everyone I knew was shocked because I had stood up in front of the church and sang and I did all these things" in the name of Jesus." Obviously, I knew how to act the part.
Man looks at the outside, but God looks at the heart, and He knew my heart wasn't following Him.
So, fast forward about 13 years and I had a husband a baby a new house and everything on the outside looked all nice and shiny, but inside of me was dark. I felt nothing. I had everything I had ever wanted, but I wasn't happy. I was angry all the time, I was bitter about everything, I had lost all my joy. For really no "real" reason at all. I literally was living my dream, but I was in miserable.
I was sitting in church one Sunday thinking to myself something has got to change. I have got to do something, I am miserable. I literally thought to myself "I wish my friend, Deanna, was doing a bible study, because I would do that. I guess I should start reading my bible?!" Right after the service Deanna turned to me and said, "Hey, I'm doing this bible study/small group thing, you wanna join me?"
"YES!!!" I think I probably scared and shocked her with my response, but I knew right away God was calling me back home. I wasn't doing anything "wrong", but I wasn't living for Him and He was telling me to come back. I thought, "Ok God, this is you telling me to get back on track, I hear you loud and clear!"
I started getting into the word, learning really for the first time, EVER, how to study the Word, how to absorb and focus on scripture and praying on a daily basis. How to take that scripture and apply it. And the fire that was once there, started to rekindle. I enjoyed His word, I enjoyed church again. I was no longer just going through the motions of being a good little church girl. I got it this time! I understood what grace was and what love He had for us. I realized what it's like to walk with Jesus on a daily basis. I understood what it meant to surrender yourself to Him and it was all good.
I'm so thankful for that turn around in my life, because just a few short months of my "revival" and d time of growth we had a miscarriage. You can read more about that in previous posts. This was probably the hardest time I've ever went through. I knew I could get mad at God and turn away from Him or run to Him. I'm so thankful I ran to Him. It was during that time I learned to trust Him in all circumstances no matter if they seem unbearable or if they don't make sense to us. He always turns them for our good! Now, we are adopting a little one from China. You can read about His perfect timing here. Had it not been for that time of loss, grief and total dependence on Him, we wouldn't have this honor and privilege to be adopting. And I'm not sure if I would have learned His voice and learned to heed that voice had it not been for that time.
Through these last two years I have been growing and seen my family grow in their faith and walk with the Lord. No, it's not always easy, but nothing worth going after ever is.
Obviously my story isn't complete....but no one's is until we reach Heaven...so in the mean time I will just say...
To Be Continued....
So now I challenge you.....What's Your Story? You never know how it will impact someone else's life and ultimately show them Christ. Please feel free to leave your story in the comments. I would love to hear it. If you don't have a story, send me an email, I would love to talk to you more about how to start your story. Thanks for letting me share mine.
I was gently reminded this morning what I was doing on this very day last year. In my celebration of our Dossier being sent to China, I had forgotten the pain of this day. God reminded me today that His plans are perfect, His timing is perfect and He always and only wants what's best for us. He is a Good, Good Father.
It was this very day last year I was sitting with Jason in my OB/GYN's office waiting for the results of tests that were taken on me. Waiting to know whether this little baby inside of me would live or not. The doctor came in and by the look on her face we knew it wasn't good news. I could continue to carry this child until I miscarried naturally or go ahead and start the process because there was a 100% chance that this baby would not survive. I have no doubt God can do anything and miracles happen every day, but that was not His plan for us. That day was the hardest day of my life. It was March 17th, 2016. I will never forget that day. I was crushed. But in my weakness, He is made strong. In my sorrows, He gives me joy. I knew joy would come in the morning, I just needed to trust Him. I'll not say it was easy, or that I just accepted that I wouldn't be delivering my baby in October as planned, but His ways are higher than mine. He knew exactly what our family needed. I trusted Him to take care of us.
Now, fast forward one year to the day. We are adopting a sweet baby. Our Dossier is being sent to China one year after our lives were turned upside down. I love how God works. He always turns things for our good. I would never know the joys of adoption or what God has already taught me through this process had it not been for March 17th, 2016. I'm not saying that day isn't still hard, but I'm thankful for the joy in the morning. I'm thankful his His grace, mercy and love and that no matter what He has me. Always.
Just keep enduring friend, morning is coming!
So what does this mean for us? What is our next step? The next step is more waiting. But now we wait with anticipation of meeting our child. We wait for that file to come in with our precious China Baby on it. This waiting is fun. It's like the last few weeks before giving birth, yes it's hard, yes it's sometimes miserable, but it's also exciting! I don't know our exact timeline, because it all varies, but it's closer than it was 6 months ago. I know that much! ;-)
I'm most excited that our Dossier is done. Someone asked me what a Dossier was...well here's the official definition: "A dossier is a collection of documents that are necessary to meet the legal requirements for adoption from a foreign country as well as the immigration requirements of the U.S. Government." That includes everything from brand new birth & marriage certificates to US Immigration service forms from which we had to go to the immigration office to do the forms. This Dossier has taken us 6 months to complete. It's been a lot of running, waiting, filling out, waiting and more filling out. My friend Tausha, who has also adopted, said that paper cuts are the stretch marks of adoption! HA!! So true! But that part is over. Thank you, Lord!
We can almost see the finish line of this amazing journey. It's in our sights. We just can't lose focus now. We are coming little one!
Oh how true that verse is to the Harmon family today. Yesterday we received the news that we are approved and that one final paper we were waiting on (sometimes patiently, sometimes not) but it finally came! YAY! Thank you Lord! His grace is always sufficient, His timing is always perfect and His plans will not be thwarted. What's even better is it came on Jason's birthday, so we had even more reasons to celebrate! God just keeps showing us in those subtle ways this is His plan and it's been incredible.
So this was me today, at lunch dropping off that 3rd and final packet. I'm imagining this may be what it feels like when Tucker goes to Kindergarten this year. All the work, sweat, tears, errands, stress and LOVE going into that tiny little packet, just hoping it does exactly as you have prayed and hoped it would since the day you began. Yep, I could cry...so I will quickly move onto something lighter.
Next steps! So, our next step is...can you guess?! That's right, more waiting! Now we will wait to be matched up with our little China Baby. It's all in God's hands and (insert sigh here) I am TOTALLY good with that!
He started with us on the journey and He will be with us until we finish. What a comfort that is! Thank you for praying! Keep it up! It's working!
In my last post you learned we were trying to get our I-800A packet to the USCIS (United States Citizenship and Immigration Services) before December 23rd to get a discount. You can read about that chaos here. So we did! We got their notice of receipt on December 22nd! YAY! Then we waited for another letter stating when we could go to the immigration office to be fingerprinted for the government.
The letter came and our appointment was scheduled for January 19th at noon. That date ring any bells for anyone?! Well, it just so happened that day was special to our family because it was Tucker's 5th birthday! We were able to spend the whole day together getting our fingerprints done and celebrating Tucker.
This was our birthday fun. We ate at the Pancake Pantry in Nashville, went to Bass Pro and the Disney Store. All his choices. We had the best day. And now he's 5 and he reminds me every day that he's 5. Growing up is hard on Mama! Sigh......I digress.
So...now we are waiting on a particular form that the USCIS is going to send saying we are approved. That is all we need in order to complete our Dossier, in order to be matched with our little China Baby, in order to travel to China to pick up our China Baby, in order to become a family of 4. That's it....one piece of paper. We just need one more piece of paper. But it hasn't come. Hence the picture at the top of this post. "When you don't move the mountains, I'm needing you to move, I will trust in You."
That is where we are. Just waiting on the Lord's timing and trusting in His sovereign plan. I have no idea if the paper will be here today, tomorrow or if it's another 3 weeks, but I do know one thing, God's plan will not be thwarted. He absolutely choose this adoption path for us. I have no doubts of that, so with that comes trust, faith and patience in Him. Which are all hard at times. I've had to succumb to the idea that I'm not in control. (Ouch! Just typing that hurt a little) But God is in control! I no longer need to stress, worry, freak out or control this situation. It's almost silly to even try. God has this in His hands. His plan is perfect, His timing is perfect and His will is perfect. He knows exactly what we need, when we need it, even before we know we need it! Why worry! Why stress! Why try to control! I've realized once I turn it over to God, I have a sense of freedom and peace overwhelm me, and that's a much better feeling than stress and anxiety. Plus when I give it to God, I no longer take Excedrin Migraine like it's some sort of candy! (Truth!)
So in the meantime we are praying that form comes in....but trusting in Him to know the exact right timing. We want what He wants...and nothing less.
He's fighting for me...for our family...for our China Baby....all I have to do is be still.