I was gently reminded this morning what I was doing on this very day last year. In my celebration of our Dossier being sent to China, I had forgotten the pain of this day. God reminded me today that His plans are perfect, His timing is perfect and He always and only wants what's best for us. He is a Good, Good Father.
It was this very day last year I was sitting with Jason in my OB/GYN's office waiting for the results of tests that were taken on me. Waiting to know whether this little baby inside of me would live or not. The doctor came in and by the look on her face we knew it wasn't good news. I could continue to carry this child until I miscarried naturally or go ahead and start the process because there was a 100% chance that this baby would not survive. I have no doubt God can do anything and miracles happen every day, but that was not His plan for us. That day was the hardest day of my life. It was March 17th, 2016. I will never forget that day. I was crushed. But in my weakness, He is made strong. In my sorrows, He gives me joy. I knew joy would come in the morning, I just needed to trust Him. I'll not say it was easy, or that I just accepted that I wouldn't be delivering my baby in October as planned, but His ways are higher than mine. He knew exactly what our family needed. I trusted Him to take care of us.
Now, fast forward one year to the day. We are adopting a sweet baby. Our Dossier is being sent to China one year after our lives were turned upside down. I love how God works. He always turns things for our good. I would never know the joys of adoption or what God has already taught me through this process had it not been for March 17th, 2016. I'm not saying that day isn't still hard, but I'm thankful for the joy in the morning. I'm thankful his His grace, mercy and love and that no matter what He has me. Always.
Just keep enduring friend, morning is coming!
So what does this mean for us? What is our next step? The next step is more waiting. But now we wait with anticipation of meeting our child. We wait for that file to come in with our precious China Baby on it. This waiting is fun. It's like the last few weeks before giving birth, yes it's hard, yes it's sometimes miserable, but it's also exciting! I don't know our exact timeline, because it all varies, but it's closer than it was 6 months ago. I know that much! ;-)
I'm most excited that our Dossier is done. Someone asked me what a Dossier was...well here's the official definition: "A dossier is a collection of documents that are necessary to meet the legal requirements for adoption from a foreign country as well as the immigration requirements of the U.S. Government." That includes everything from brand new birth & marriage certificates to US Immigration service forms from which we had to go to the immigration office to do the forms. This Dossier has taken us 6 months to complete. It's been a lot of running, waiting, filling out, waiting and more filling out. My friend Tausha, who has also adopted, said that paper cuts are the stretch marks of adoption! HA!! So true! But that part is over. Thank you, Lord!
We can almost see the finish line of this amazing journey. It's in our sights. We just can't lose focus now. We are coming little one!